Turning Habits (Back) Into Choices

I’ve been struck by something that’s happened with the clients that have completed a six-month health coaching program with me.  When they started they had some food-related habits that they weren’t happy about – they knew these habits were counterproductive to their health and wellness, yet they felt somewhat powerless to change them.  At our final session together I reminded them of those habits and they said some version of “Wow, you’re right – I’d forgotten about that.  I can’t even imagine doing that now!” 

What this demonstrates is that bad habits are not immutable – under the right circumstances, they can be eliminated and ideally replaced with healthier ones.  It’s important to remember that what becomes a habit began as a choice, and this post is about understanding why habits develop and how to empower yourself to reverse the process and take back control. 
 

I’m talking about relatively benign, non-life-threatening habits here – snacking in front of the TV every night, relying on fast food treats on a regular basis, taking chocolate breaks every afternoon, or drinking several diet or regular soft drinks throughout the day.  Yet even these habits can seem powerful and hard to break when they become part of your routine.  The reason is that you’re probably not really eating for eating’s sake; rather, you’re eating to satisfy some other need that’s not being fully met in your life. 

 

The Health Coaching program I completed at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (www.IntegrativeNutrition.com) describes this as the difference between Primary and Secondary food.  Primary foods are the higher level needs we all have and there are four categories:  Relationship, Career, Physical Activity, and Spirituality.  The foods and beverages we eat and drink are Secondary foods.  When things are out of whack with an area of our Primary food – let’s say we’re bored or exceedingly stressed at work – we often try to make ourselves feel better with food; we take a jolt of caffeine or sugar for energy, or choose sweets or salty snacks to relax.  Why not?  It’s quick, easy, and momentarily seems to do the trick.  Except, of course, it doesn’t solve the underlying problem, and in fact creates its own problems including poor nutrition, weight gain, and negative energy spirals.  Secondary food can’t satisfy Primary food needs.   

What to do?  Here’s what we do in our health coaching sessions, and you can do this with a supportive friend or family member, or even with yourself:

1.       Shine a light – Review your most recent day or two, talking through each day’s ups and downs, the good choices and the not-so-good ones.  Identify the stress points and let the habits out of the closet!

2.       Analyze the situation – Dissect the situation around each habit you identify.  Answer the who, what, when, where, and how of the habit’s context. 

3.       Identify the Primary Food – Connect the feelings around the habit to one of the Primary Food dimensions, considering each one broadly.  For example, Career encompasses not only paid employment, but all types of work such as homemaking and volunteering, as well as education and finances.

4.       Consider alternatives – Spend some time thinking about the Primary Food issues you’ve identified and brainstorm healthier, more productive ways to address those needs.  These can be as close-in as taking a walk around the block in the afternoon instead of grabbing a snack, or more substantial, like asking for a promotion at work, or even considering an alternative career.

5.       Conduct an experiment – Mindfully decide to make a different choice when your habit situation comes up.  Pledge to make that different choice for one week and see how you feel!  Or, for larger-scale changes like a new career, build a realistic plan for yourself and execute it. 

6.       Be gentle and take it slow – Accept and appreciate yourself throughout this process.  Use success in one area to energize other aspects of your life by making more and more healthy choices.

Next time:  More about choices, including the concept of decision fatigue and its implications for healthy grocery shopping.