Unexpected Vices

On my way to yoga today I was listening to Marketplace Weekend on NPR, and the guest speaker was talking about vices.  Listeners had called in or written to describe their weaknesses for Starbucks, shopping, or reality TV.  No surprises there, but then just as I was pulling into the parking lot, the guest said that she’d concluded that there are two very important vices that we often overlook, but that deserve attention because they are extremely costly – at the individual level and also for the economy as a whole.  The two are Procrastination and Not Asking for Help.  It was one of those public radio sit-in-the-car-and-listen moments for me as I considered her comments.  First the guest quoted some extremely huge dollar amount that is the value of the productivity we lose to Procrastination, and then she used an example of being lost but refusing to ask for directions to illustrate the cost of Not Asking for Help. 

I started thinking about Procrastination and Not Asking for Help in the realm of health and self-care, where I believe there can be both physical and psychological costs associated with these vices… and by the way, I don’t like the moralistic tone of the word “vice” in this context.  As a health coach I’d rather help clients see that these behaviors are less-than-optimal choices for them that cause problems both short- and long-term.  The way we care for ourselves today affects our energy, productivity, and mood today, and affects our ability to stave off disease and avoid chronic conditions tomorrow and beyond, as well.  (For more on this topic, check out the excellent new book, Eat Move Sleep, by Tom Rath).   

The holidays are approaching, and if you’re like me, you’re starting to think about menu planning, travel arrangements, and gift ideas.  And you may be feeling a little stressed, especially if you feel you’re getting a late start due to… Procrastination!  I am definitely behind in terms of setting up the annual ski trip that my college-aged sons & I enjoy over New Year’s.  I am also preparing for a move to a new home in mid-January, though the good news is that I realize that the boys can help me out a lot while they’re here on winter break, making decisions about what to keep and what to sell or give away – I will definitely NOT hesitate to Ask for Help! 

Another aspect of the holidays that causes many people stress is that they worry about eating or drinking too much… They may want to lose weight before the holidays so as to look and feel their best, and they may anticipate either resignedly or unhappily that they are likely to gain weight over the festive period, and then feel crappy as the new year rolls around.  And emotionally, the holidays are often a difficult time of year for people too, because of family issues, loneliness or other social anxieties.  “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” as the Christmas song goes, but sometimes not so much!! 

Given all of this, I’d like to encourage everyone to spend some time considering their important priorities for the holiday season.  Spend time planning for and enjoying those, and “procrastinate” on the others that can wait til later.  Ask for help where you can – it’s my experience that people generally love to be called upon to help others.  And take even better care of yourself than usual, which might include eating more mindfully, making time for yoga, another favorite exercise, or meditation.  You may do some extra wellness-oriented reading, or even consider Asking for Help from a Health Coach such as myself!  There’s no better time to invest in yourself in preparation for the holidays and to set you up for your healthiest and happiest new year ever.  Go to my website at www.FirstDayWellness.com for more information if you so desire, and maybe we can start a conversation about YOU.

 

Reunion Reflections

Today I flew to Newark en route to my 30th Princeton reunion.   On the plane I sat across from a man from the class of '57.  How did I know this?  He was wearing a black and orange blazer with little '57 emblems all over it, and an orange sweater underneath.  I can hardly wait to see what my class's "uniform" for this reunion will be - registration starts in a couple hours so I won't have to wait long!  Here are some of my classmates in our 25th reunion jacket:  

 

So during the flight I read Oprah magazine and the June issue is all about aging.  More than a dozen women aged 13 to 64 provide their reflections on aging, emphasizing the joys of their current age, no matter the number.  An essay by novelist Jane Smiley was particularly enjoyable and thought-provoking for me.  She starts by describing a train ride in the UK where the passengers all appear to be decades younger than she, and while she suspects that they regard her simply as an uninteresting older woman ready to retire, in fact her mind is "full of memories that are as real to me as the present:  I am 64, but also 40, 35, and 26."  (Why she assumes that negative judgment from her co-passengers could be a topic for another post!)

As I fetched my rental car and drove the hour or so to campus, serenaded by the local public radio jazz station, I related directly to Ms. Smiley's reflection, accessing my own memories of Princeton - at 18 and arriving for my freshman year from Fargo, ND; at 21 and graduating triumphantly; in my 40's and traveling to Princeton several times for business (staying at the iconic Nassau Inn and eating much better than I did as a student!); and of course my reunion trips - at 41 for my 20th, at 46 when I brought my sons to my 25th, and now at 51 for my 30th.  And the best part is that the memories don't just stand alone - I have more ability to see them in context, to perceive patterns and derive meaning, to have more compassion for the self that I was at all of those times and that I am now, and to joyfully anticipate reuniting with friends over the next few days.

Ms. Smiley goes on to share that a woman older than she once told her that when she turned 35, her "life would change from a river to a lake, shifting from a constant forward flow to a wider exploration."  I love that image and think that it contains great wisdom.  It made me imagine that the condition of and our experience of our lake might vary depending on our situation and present ability to deal with it.  In hard times it might feel as if our lake is suddenly full of whitecaps and we're struggling to stay afloat.  At other times we may feel that we're treading water doggedly, or perhaps floating or bobbing more lightheartedly, even blissfully.  When we are in a period of exciting transition or progress, it may feel as if we're slalom water skiing, leaning in and creating a gorgeous spray.

We are always connected to our past and anticipating our future, yet of course all we have is the present moment, which slips continually into the past.  We do well when we productively integrate our past and mindfully experience our now, opening and connecting both inwardly and outwardly.  And of course we are not alone - we profoundly affect and are profoundly affected by the people and places and situations around us all the time, too.   Everyone and everything affects our "lake" and vice versa.  Whether I am interacting with family, friends, colleagues, clients, or even people-watching as I've been doing in this funky coffee shop over the past couple of hours, I am awed and humbled to consider each one's uniquely complex history, current consciousness, and potential.  I am grateful for this moment, I am grateful for connection (it's my word for 2014 in fact – for more info, click this Gretchen Rubin link: http://tinyurl.com/jvus59o), and I can't wait to see my old roommates and friends tonight! 

Diving Back In

I’m at my mom’s in Juno Beach, Florida, for a couple days this week, and this morning we took a walk along the beautiful beach.  All bodies of water are different colors and the ocean here is an amazing blue-green, perhaps best described as aquamarine, which Wikipedia defines as a shade between green and blue and clear.  See, for example, the lovely uncut aquamarines below:    

 

Anyway, I was wearing my bathing suit and the morning sun was very warm, so I decided to take a little swim before going back inside.  Every body of water has different tides and weather and wind conditions too, and the waves today were a few feet high, breaking at an angle toward the beach, and kind of irregular.  These were not dangerous conditions by any means but I couldn’t help flashing back to my very scary swim in Mexico late last year – that’s the last time I’d actually swum in an ocean – and that particular body of water was truly not fit for swimming, as I described in my January post titled Bonus Hours.

This morning, though, I was reassured that there were quite a few people around – some fishermen nearby and other morning walkers enjoying themselves as they browsed for shells.  So in I went, cautiously and slowly, standing waist-deep waiting for one of the big waves to pass in order to swim out during the approach of the several smaller ones that followed.  And it was lovely.  I floated, swam a bit, opened my eyes underwater (beautiful aquamarine world!), and the whole time kept an eye on my colorful towel lying on the beach in order to monitor my distance and drift.  It was not a long swim but it was an important one.  And as I negotiated the waves to get back out of the water I realized that my heart was pounding hard. 

The experience made me think about how important it is to move forward from disappointing or negative experiences with a constructive and optimistic attitude, in a way that doesn’t close doors or eliminate options but rather educates and empowers us to take on similar and even bigger challenges in the future.  This can mean diving back into the waves, skiing the double-blacks with your 18 year-old, calling a client prospect just one more time, bringing up a difficult topic with a loved one vs. avoiding the conversation, taking the lead on connecting with relatives or friends or colleagues, being a proactive parent.  It means putting yourself out there and imagining bigger.   Not the most natural posture for someone who tends toward introversion, like me, but over the years I’ve decided that I prefer it to the alternative. 

Daniel Pink, in his recent book, To Sell is Human, contrasts saying Yes with saying No.  They each have benefits and drawbacks.  Saying “Yes” provides adventure, while saying “No” provides safety – both positives.  However, lots of yeses tend to lead to opening and growth (along with uncertainty), while lots of nos may lead to more control and predictability, but also a smaller personal world.

Wouldja just stand up already?

Have a seat!  Take a load off!  Relax and make yourself comfortable!  Next time someone greets you with one of these phrases, you might think to question whether they have your best interests at heart!  Many recent studies are finding that sitting and a sedentary lifestyle are associated with all sorts of problems, including decreased energy, increased fat storage, suppressed immunity, and a shorter lifespan.  The latest research, from Northwestern University, links sitting to a markedly higher likelihood of becoming disabled as you age.  Two of my fabulous clients mentioned this study to me over the past 48 hours so I figured they were worth sharing more broadly – here’s a link to the article on NPR’s health news blog called Shots:  http://tinyurl.com/k7ue5ww.

Importantly, it’s not enough to get a workout in every once in a while; this and other research have isolated hours of sitting as an independent risk factor for suboptimal functioning and serious health problems, for exercisers and non-exercisers alike.  I find it useful to think in terms of activity and movement as a separate category from exercise per se (running, yoga, tennis, circuit training, etc.), and to aim for frequent periods of activity and movement throughout your day, as well as enjoying your preferred forms of exercise as often as possible.  Standing desks and treadmill desks are all the rage (I adore my TreadDesk), but you can increase activity without fancy equipment too.  Ideas you’ve doubtless read or heard about include standing up and/or pacing when you’re on the phone, using a more distant bathroom, taking the stairs whenever possible, and parking further away from your destination.  If you can involve others by getting together for walks, having walking meetings, or even one-on-ones while doing stairs, then more power to you!  The goal is to think creatively about how you can add more activity and movement to your day, no matter how or where you’re spending it. 
 
You may decide that you want to quantify your performance and progress too.  As Jeff Hyman, CEO of Retrofit, likes to say, “You can’t manage what you can’t measure!” echoing Peter Drucker.  I’m a huge fan of and firm believer in the Fitbit and any other brand of step tracker.  I’ve decided that I love my Fitbit so much because it gives me only positive news (there’s no such thing as a negative step count) and constant encouragement with its chatter messages.  Today it was finally sunny and warm and dry enough for me to take my favorite walk up and around (and up and down some more) and eventually down Mt. Adams, and I was delighted to see that I racked up 54 flights during that hour or so – “Stepgeek” here I come! 

When my children were younger, we spent a week most summers at a Minnesota resort called Fair Hills.  This is a family-friendly and unpretentious lake resort that features evening entertainment along the lines of Bingo and Talent Night.  Tuesdays were reserved for the Hootenanny, which began with a sing-along to old favorites like The Old Gray Mare and Oh Susanna.  Amusingly (and healthfully, as it turns out!), we also sang My Bonnie, and the rule was that you had to either stand up or sit back down every time you got to a word beginning with the letter ‘b”.  Now think about the chorus:  “Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my bonnie to me, to me!”  That’s a lot of b’s and the “exercise” had everyone laughing and energized by the time the song was done.  Do it now and see for yourself – I promise you a smile and an elevated heartbeat.  And I dare you to recruit a co-conspirator to do something similar at your next meeting! 

Bonus Hours

I've been following the blog theminimalists for over three years and yesterday’s post really struck a chord for me.  Ryan Nicodemus wrote about a recent car accident he and a friend had in Seattle (http://www.theminimalists.com/crash/).  They were sideswiped on a slushy and slippery highway and both cars rolled.  Thanks to their seatbelts - and other forces beyond our understanding - they sustained only minor injuries but the experience made him even more grateful for the time he is now enjoying post-crash.  He describes this time - days, weeks, hopefully many years - as bonus hours, and I think that is so perfect.

The phrase bonus hours gave me a beautiful label for the feelings I've had twice over the past few months, after being in situations that were much more dangerous than I realized, and coming through unharmed.  First was an ocean swimming experience at Cerritos Beach in Baja Mexico last November.  I was attending a yoga fitness retreat and having a marvelous time with our hosts, instructors, and fellow guests.  The Pacific on Baja's west coast is notoriously dangerous, but this was a famous swimming and surfing beach and our group wanted to check it out.  I am an experienced and confident swimmer and went into the water twice.  The first time I enjoyed diving under and playing in the waves along with my friends who were swimming, bodysurfing, and boogie boarding.  Later several other women began surfing right in front of where we were hanging out on the beach, so when I decided to go for another swim I first walked down the beach to the left, and then went in.  I like to get out just beyond where the waves break and then float on my back, rocking up and down on the swells.  That was going well, but as soon as I decided to make my way back I saw that I'd drifted much further out than I realized - it was different than the earlier swim, and I felt fear.  I didn't know if the others in my group knew I was out there, or if they could help me if they did.  I also didn't know that the water was guiding me toward underwater rocks.  What I did know I'd learned from my dad, who'd had his own and even more life-threatening undertow experience in Florida years ago.  I focused on swimming forward with each wave as it moved toward shore, using its momentum even if I got a little crashed up in the process, and not fighting against the water between waves.  Gradually I made it to where I could touch, and I emerged even further down the beach and significantly shaken.

The second experience was driving from Chicago back to Cincinnati in early January, as the polar vortex was descending on the Midwest.  I'd brought my son Alex back to Northwestern and thank goodness we drove the 4WD Jeep Liberty and I didn't insist on driving my Mini.  I drove home on Sunday the 5th, leaving Evanston as heavy snow fell, and soon was in whiteout conditions on the unplowed highway with cars off the road and accidents everywhere.  It was truly white-knuckle driving where I dredged up any and all skills I had from growing up and learning to drive in Fargo ND.  Thanks to a Top of the Chart radio station ("All the number one songs from the 70's and 80's!") and my book on tape, I stayed alert and extremely focused for nearly seven hours without a stop - well, we all had to stop for about a half hour on 65 north of Indy while a multi-vehicle accident was cleared, but no potty or Starbucks breaks like usual.  The truth is that the exits looked so rutted and slippery that I didn't dare get off the highway. My strategy was to fall into line behind a semi or tough-looking pickup truck or big SUV going what I felt was an appropriate speed and follow in their tracks as smoothly and calmly as possible.  This didn't prevent my wheels from drifting scarily a dozen times throughout the drive, though, and each time I just took a deep breath, held on tight, stared straight ahead, eased the gas and willed the car back on track.  Past Indianapolis with maybe 100 miles to go, the roads were clearer and I finally braved a gas station stop.  As I approached Cincinnati I moved into a heavy rainstorm but that was a warm and welcome cakewalk compared to what I'd been through.

I know these situations don't compare to the hardships that so many people face every day, and I also know that I inserted myself into them - I have no one to blame but myself.  My point is that they serve as valuable reminders that each day is a gift, offering 24 more bonus hours, and so I am grateful. 

The Movement Habit

No, this isn’t a blog about constipation though I do have recommendations for that too in case you’re interested!  This is a blog about the importance of integrating physical activity into our daily lives – small, casual movements as well as the regular intense exercise I’ve written about in prior posts.  I was dramatically reminded of this last week when I had the type of workday that has become atypical for me now, though it was my norm for many of my years in client- and supplier-side marketing research. 

One of my current health coaching clients is the management team of a manufacturing company in Kentucky.  They are a group of talented and interesting people, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to work with them on their health and wellness goals.  After doing an initial presentation for the group about a month ago, I began a series of four trips to the company to have individual hour-long sessions with each member of the team.  Last Tuesday I had a round of sessions scheduled, so I got on the road by 6am to get there by 8am, had six hour-long sessions with one half-hour break in the middle (which got truncated because we tended to run a bit over each hour), and then got in my car to drive nearly 2 hours back to Cincinnati.  As I started driving home that afternoon I realized I could barely keep my eyes open, and I caught myself drifting off the road more than once.  Remember, this was about 4:00 in the afternoon, not midnight, but I was nevertheless a danger to myself and others!  I stopped at Starbucks for a soy latte (my second of the day), cranked the radio, deepened my breathing to get more oxygen to my brain and extremities, and managed to make it home in one piece.  As I pulled into the garage, I recalled getting home from work or a business trip in the past (busy & stressful but not ACTIVE), and feeling the same type of exhaustion.  If I’d had a plan to work out or go to a yoga class that evening, there’s no way I would’ve done it -- I wanted to sit down with a glass of wine and do nothing! 

What was wrong with me?  I realized that the sum total of my physical movement during that whole day had been standing up and down a few times to greet each new client, and walking to and from the bathroom.  And that wasn’t enough.  Yet it had been the norm for me for years, and it is the norm for millions of people who work mainly at a computer or on a phone all day.  It was so startling to me because it’s no longer my norm, and I’m happy to report that individuals and companies are also getting the message about the importance of movement and the true danger of being sedentary.  I now know lots of people who stand at their desk at work or home, either all the time or intermittently; another client of mine has rigged up her treadmill below her standing-level desk.  If I’m out in downtown Cincinnati between 11am and 1pm I see numerous groups of coworkers taking lunchtime walks, not to mention those who are able to change clothes and take a yoga or pilates class or fit in a run during their workday! 

As for me, I consciously set up my home office to be “inconvenient” in small ways that end up encouraging frequent movement even during my work time; for example, whenever I print something I hike to the other end of the condo to the printer, and I keep various office supplies in several different desks to necessitate a short stroll to get an envelope & stamp, or my stapler & holepunch.  I also sit on an exercise ball at my desk and have realized that my file cabinet is a perfect height for standing computer work, as long as I set my laptop on a couple of September-issue fashion magazines, which are each over an inch thick as any fashionista knows! 

I encourage you to think about your daily routine and find ways to incorporate small movements as often as possible.  If you need more convincing, check out “Is Sitting a Lethal Activity?” published in the NYT last year (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17sitting-t.html).  The article summarizes a variety of research on inactivity and introduces the concept of NEAT – Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis – that links small movements to major health benefits. 

A final note:  When I got home from the long coaching day described above, I did indeed sit down and my husband did pour me a glass of wine.  When I told him about how tired I’d become, he gave me a great idea which I will implement on my next company visit:  As each client comes in for their session I will turn them right around and we’ll go outside for at least a 15-minute walk to review their progress over the last couple weeks, then come back in for the rest of the session.  Here’s hoping for pleasant weather!!!

Life Is A Long Time - You Are Responsible for Making It A Healthy Time!

Joshua Rosenthal, founder of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where I received my Health Coach training, likes to say, "Life is a Long Time." He says it to encourage us to be patient with ourselves and to internalize the idea that there's time to do everything, but maybe not all at the same time!
 

I recently devoured a book called Younger Next Year - For Women, by Chris Crowley & Henry S. Lodge, M.D., and it provides another take on life expectancy and quality.  (Their original book was directed at men; I chose to read the subsequent female-oriented edition, and it is smart and insightful despite being written by two guys!)  Have you ever taken a quiz to predict your life expectancy based on your current age, gender, weight, and basic diet & health behaviors?  There’s a thorough one in the Younger Next Year books and a variety of other quizzes online, and I invite you to complete one of them.  You will (hopefully) find that you are likely to live to be 90+ years old.  Mr. Crowley and Dr. Lodge’s book is all about how to make that outcome more likely, and more importantly, to have a healthy and active life for as long as possible. 

Imagine a curve with time on the x-axis and health level on the y-axis.  Some of us are resigned to the idea that once we hit “middle age” (whatever that means these days… isn’t 60 the new 40?) we start to gradually decline – a downward curve until we die.  The authors of Younger Next Year argue that this does NOT have to be the case.  Our actions (and I do mean actions) influence the quality of our lives more than we realize, and we have the power to maintain our health and vibrancy well into our later years, so that our personal age X health chart can register health at a steady high level until we are well advanced in age, with a quick decline at the very end.  Isn’t that better for us and our loved ones, not to mention the healthcare system?

The key to healthy aging is to promote growth in the body & mind, not decay.  The authors argue that there really is no middle ground.  This is programmed into our genes from prehistoric times and is based on the earth’s seasonal cycles – we are either in spring/summer “growth” mode when we are energetic and active and our body is building muscle, or we are in fall/winter “decay” mode when we slow down and store fat preparing for food scarcity and a hard winter.  I’m sure you know where this is headed… today we have no food scarcity and we spend most of our time being sedentary, so our bodies move into constant storage/hibernation mode – in a word, decay. 

What to do?  The authors advocate EXERCISE, virtually every day, and including both moderate and high intensity workouts each week.  Exercise boosts your metabolism, it reduces stress, it improves your mood, and it is believed to offer protection against development of Alzheimer’s disease.  As you know, we recently got a puppy whose pictures are regularly featured in my newsletter and on Facebook.  My husband, Randy, spends hours each day training and briskly walking Foxy either on the beach in Hilton Head or here in Cincinnati.  He enjoys every outing with his dog – rain or shine, hot or cold – and he has lost weight and feels fit and energized.  And, as a bonus, we have a very well-trained dog!

It is critical to your health and well-being that you establish some sort of fitness routine, whether it involves a dog, a running or workout buddy, a spinning class schedule, a favorite yoga instructor or DVD, or any other vigorous activity.  The important thing is to do something physically intense nearly every day, for the rest of your life.  Your body, mind, and loved ones will thank you.

http://www.youngernextyear.com/